Taboo and being sacred

Life as we know has so many dos and donts. Right from childhood. Eating the "right" food makes you a good boy/girl. Studying everyday, Playing everyday, Not watching tv everyday, etc
There are such defined roles for each and everyone at each stage of their lives. It is good for the functioning of the society when things are up hill. But when theres a downfall, a student fails, your marriage falls apart, or if you are plain different, the one thing which bothers the individual is what will they say. "They" include your parents, siblings, neighbours, relatives, friends, the list goes on.

Wouldn't it be easier to live in a society where such expectations are not defined. Say if you fail, any individual should comment chill dude, work better next time. The heaviness of this expectation just weighs down on one more than the gravity of the situation itself. If your marriage falls apart, its just like a business deal not working out. Of course, there are emotions involved but marriage is not a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces had to fit. It is more like a playground where you come and play everyday. Sometimes you realize that even though you are in the same play area, you like different rides. You can try playing together but eventually you know deep inside what your calling is.

My Goals

Stay Happy
Do not get engrossed in mundane chores, Rise above it
Stay Fit. Get back to size M.
Work Around Things
Understand that you cannot fulfil all roles 100%
Shove the Mom guilt
Be compassionate
Do not overspend
Talk to mom everyday (not in a hurry)
Do not be in a hurry all the time
Live Life QUEEN size

Reflection

Sometimes you look back at your self and wonder what have you become. Do the mundane life and prejudiced opinions rule our life so much that we have forgotten to live and enjoy but fret and worry?

When and why does money get important?
Why do we start judging a loved one for things they don't do over the ones they do?
Why do we make up stories in our minds and not live in the reality and improve our future?
When do assumptions become facts?
Why does chaos become a family member?
Why isn't patience your best friend?
Why don't goals last till you achieve them?
Why do we speak our minds when we shouldn't?
Why what ifs and not It is?

RIP Vikas Kaka

A silent prayer...

To up and above...
You have someone...
Who we adored till now...

Please take care of him...
The way he did..
Of all his family members and friends...
A gem of a person truly to be missed!

"Mother Hood"

A reason why I put d space in mother and hood  is cause in the start of this new phase u really want to stay hooded... shield yourself from too many advices,  emotions, changes.... one word to sum up this adventurous journey is exhilarating...
I am too scared,  nervous,  anxious all the time to know what will be next...the saying take life as it comes might come in handy but difficult to implement as u yourself are in for a lot of physical and emotional restoration...
The biggest support is ur family n friends... closest ones who are with u to help you come out of the hood... salut  to them...

Tiny Tots

A new life..
A new way..
Its going to be a
different tomorrow, they say..

I want to step in..
quietly and watch..
the little prancing feet and tiny laughs...

Peace unto pieces

Why is it so difficult to live in peace? When we are busy in life working, managing home, relationships, etc, we long to have some peace... some time for ourselves... and when we finally get the chance to be that way, it kinda feels empty...not peaceful...
We are so used to equating doing something = being useful in life that we have forgotten what it is to just listen to the silence around us, observe around, introspect and probably use the time to just enjoy being you and things around you... In a way it is doing something...

Things I will miss and which I wont forget

Arnav's good morning smile
waking up hearing mums puja
popu reading newspaper wen mums doing her puja
the yellow light in my dressing
my bathroom
my breakfast ready and served
my winnie d pooh
my bedside lamp
my snow globes
the abascus from china which i never learned to use
mums food
tejus chappad chappad
amol tucking in his shirt
seeing arnav grow day by day
my freedom
the late night get drunk come home at 6am parties
traffic to get out and get to my place
throwing tantrums
i will add more to the list as days go by...

Good bye...

Its another time of the year to say ur good byes... good bye to the entire year gone by... good bye to the events of year... now they would be just remembered as memories... good bye to your last year's new year resolutions... new ones are to be made now... good bye to the old movies... good bye to the goals for the year...
There were quite some good byes for me this year... good byes to friends who moved to another time zones... good bye to my office colleagues... good bye to singlehood...
I ll be having a few more good byes soon... good bye to my home... moving into another now... good bye to my life as a singleton, living just for me...
For some its hard to say good bye... I say its the beginning of a new chapter...

New Beginnings...

Reality bites... but its never been better than this... and it aint biting this time.... 

Its short sweet nibbles ...

Its a wonderful phase... a wonderful feeling... a warm happy atmosphere... suddenly you are like isnt this what you always wanted... its a lil scary too, to get what you wanted.. keep feeling is it for real... such is my wandering mind... 

they say this phase lasts till the "d" day or around it... i want it to last forever... and i ll make sure it will :D

My bed-side tree..

I had a very preety tree right outside my window. It was a tall, sturdy drumsticks tree... if thats what you call it...

It was a perching harbour for many birds... a hangar for all the unwanted rags... cool shade for some... but for me it was something more special... apart from giving me the privacy from the outside world... it was the one who was always there whenever i was there.... 

all those happy moments.. all those sad ones... the ones where i saw d moon through it... the rains... 

They cut it down a few months ago... it was old and weak... it felt bad... 

Awwwwwwwwww

Lately I have been going awwwwww a lot. The reason being that many of my friends and acquaintances are getting engaged.
I have always admitted that I am the sloppy romantic kinds. I am witnessing it a bit too much of that me nowadays. So hearing all these stories of how these people got hooked... the first time they met... the initial awkwardness... the meetings thereafter... and finally the decision.... it just makes me tilt my head and go awwwwwwwwwwwwww. The hours after that are magical... I am all charged up and happy and there’s this serene feeling that it really happens...
Is it silly... may be but it just comes out of me... like the way you have this motherly instinct... I have this love heady instinct... May be it’s in the hope that it will happen for me too... and also that love triumphs... I am totally the happy ending kinda movie gal... the typical And they lived happily ever after kind...

The essential "F's" in life

Without "F's" life would be very lonely
Without "F's" life would be dull
Without "F's" life would be no life at all
As you must have guessed... I am talking about one of the most essential part of everyones life..."Friends"
It is indeed very strange that a stranger with whom you have no blood relations, you strike up such a great bond... a bond just like the way you have with your family...infact they do become your family...
I have had the pleasure of having many such Precious "not strangers anymore" in my life... some date back from the time we were in school and used to attend each others bday parties (in which I used to dress up like someone from a " no fashion planet") and have trips to the markets and fashion shows (with accessories such as our moms dupattas), some date back to the college days where we shared all notes, secrets, crushes, fashion tips, canteen food money, assignments, bus/train/bike/truck seats. Some have come up as surprises... d good old crush from the yester years, an old friend who you lost touch with, a person with whom i struck up a conversation online, a junior in school, a family friend, a sister, a colleague, the list goes on...
And I plan to keep d list growing... they form a part of my treasure... worth no money in d whole wide world...

Colours of Cities

The title of this blog came to my mind when I visited Bangalore last week....still cant manage to remember the spelling and pronunciation of its new name of the city . The city is amazingly green (it rains very often) and it aint humid and the weather is cool and pleasant. I absolutely loved the trees and the weather part of it but when it came to the structures placed on the road... I wouldnt exactly give it a thumbs up. Lets admit it, Bangaloreans love the colour green and not the nice shades of green... all the wrong ones... some of the houses horrendously painted with the shades of green ( was wondering... are the most unpopular shades of green are sent to this city and sold dirt cheap... anyone to back me up?) There is also yellow, purple amongst the popular ones... but green rules... aaaha may be they dont want the trees to merge in with their house so a different green... now i got it...So its Bangalore the "green" city.
Lets move on to Mumbai... I would give it a colour grey... that is what you see from the aircraft... since we dont have much greens or many vibrant colors... just glass buildings and the dirty nullas... it has to be grey... the smoke is grey too! Smoke from chimneys/vehicles/smokers... we have lots of each of them... I feel bad for my dear city... (grey is not my fav colour)
Then we have Delhi... I would like to call it the white city... White represents clean, pure, fresh,etc Delhi is reallly clean with the majestic parliament and other such buildings which are lined with white cars with laal batti... they have the maximum "white collared people" (though the clean pure adjectives wouldnt particularly suit them)
There are more cities too... like Calcutta, Chennai which I would have liked to add to this list but I havent visited them yet so cant tell...
Mind you these views are just based on what is seen to a naked eye... the colour of the spirit of the people living in each of the cities would vary BIG time (Mumbai would be most colourful... no prize for guessing why)

Khuda ke liye...

India is divided into many number of states on the basis of languages. Each state has their own divisions. Like in Maharashtra, you have maharashtrians, but there are bramhins, saraswats, deshastra, etc. Why is everything so divided? Why can't we have a "One" funda... things would be so much easier. Just "One" God... (thats what I believe in) and not hundreds and thousand devtas/devis, allah, jesus christ (no I am not swearing) Just "One" Nation...
I saw this movie the other day "Khuda ke liye" A very good one if you into reality and not karan johar kind of movies. It showed how a pakistani girl born and brought up in Britain is duped into marrying her cousin in Pakistan (who has turned into a religious fanatic due to some maulvi influence) and how she fights for all of it in the end. It shows that people try to do things in Gods name when HE himself never laid down any rules.
What is the reason we are born? I believe that we all come into the world to enjoy life, learn different things, pursue our passion, live in harmony with others, be truthful, respect elders, help the needy and try to make some contribution to this world to make it a little better place . If we go by my theory, then why should we be ever involved in these religious rackets. Just live and let live. Come on people, life is too short to live it worrying about issues like these. We already have live examples of how such issues blow up to sizes unimaginable.
So just fight for your rights but don't tread on someone elses... Khuda ke liye

AM & LM

This subject relates to the hot topic in my life... Marriage...

Had a discussion on the same...arranged marriages (AM's) and love marriages (LM's)... are any of these better? In LM's the advantage is of knowing the person and hence taking a step ahead in the relationship is marriage. AM's are more of a gamble, where you gauge a person based on looks, education, family and all this in a few meetings.

But I believe a marriage is a total different ball game whether you know the person or no. Things change drastically as u actually start living with the person. His/her eating habits/ sleeping habits... you got to live with each other with all of it. In AM's there's the fun of discovering the person right from the scratch, whereas in LMs you expect certain things out of the person and if it doesn't happen that way... then trouble rings in...
I haven't checked the surveys for divorce rates... whether AM or LM have higher rates... but in general divorces seem to be on the rise... and I really think people give up too easily... but it also means that people are no longer ready to stay married just cause "you have to" ... they standing up for themselves... but I just hope they fight it out well before giving up...
All in all I just hope that it goes well for me... whenever it happens... people ask "are u ready for it?" and I am like "How can I be ever ready for a thing I have never known before ?"

Hop hop hop away...

Torn in between two worlds are hoppers of the modern world. You may ask who are these... well these are the globe trotting friends of our generation. Job opportunities often take us away from home and they might take us to different places. But do we still yearn to be back? Or do we adapt to the new place well enough to find the "home" town too.... wats the word... well lets say not too fascinating anymore.
A friend of mine is working in bangalore and often comes to town to visit her folks. Initially her comments would be bangalore is real nice and clean, climate is cooler and a perfect place to bring up your kids. Slowly the comments turned to..."Gosh the place sucks, so much time and nothing much to do" and now its a mixture of the pros n cons of both the cities.
Lets take in to account our pardesi dears. How they miss the dear country... by country I mean the 3 F's... (dont get any naughty ideas now) Family, Friends and Food.... not in the same order though. But yet when they come to visit their country, they complain endlessly of the weather, traffic, corruption, pollution, dirt, .... (the list never ends)
I hope these people find solace in someplace...
Yet what must it really be to be torn it between two worlds? Yet to be experienced by me... but will definitely let you know then...

Fear of the unknown

Recently I came across situations... various ones where I had to put aside my fears of what will happen if I do it... and I just did it...
I always postponed those things cause I was not sure how I will be able to do it, whether I will be able to do it... never gave it a try... a stupid fear of the unknown... but surprise surprise... I was asked to do them.. as in was given an ultimatum... and I did them and they were just too simple...
It was like taking a walk in the garden... Sure I had to put in efforts but they were nothing compared to the scary picture I had made up in my mind... So its true when they say its all in the mind... Give it a try and if you win... gr8.. If you dont... well try again...
So those of you out there who are busy procastinating... take my word of advice... Just do it...

My Family rocks!

Had this feeling yesterday.... this overwhelming feeling of how great my family is...

We had this festival of Ramnavmi yesterday which celebrates the birth of Lord Ram. We all cousins started the decoration from Saturday evening... right from what looks good to which flower goes where and in what direction... then we continued it with dinner and the usual gup shup @ night and a little beutification process ( face packs) even my jiju and brother joined in...

The next day was packed with action... with relatives and friends pouring in and kids running around... cricket on tv (!!!) and the puja ofcourse... then the aarti followed... and then the yummmm lunch... I had to serve two pangats (batches) before sitting down for it... but it was all worth it... d food was blissful... Next started the hunt for a place to sleep... since the house is always overcrowded... u just have to seize the opportunity of any comfortable nook and corner... Evenings are again busy with more friends and relatives visiting and a singing session of my sister which can calm down any ones nerves... and the place was full of kids crying, laughing, playing... too many emotions all bundled up... To top it all there were amazing snacks doing rounds...
In the end, while leaving, I felt real sad... sad cause the day ended... sad cause I had to leave all these wonderful people and get back to the grind... and sad that it might just be my last year as a singleton with them at this occassion... all good things do come to an end...
But theres always a repetition and a new beginning somewhere... All in all a gr8 day with my gr8 family!!

Pune ---- tikde sarvaach une....

As u can guess (from the title), its about the city of "Pune". The sentence further means that its a place that lacks a lot of things whereas the original saying is the opposite of it (Pune tikde kahi nahi une --- a place that lacks nothing) I had the good fortune (?) of visiting the city three times in a row... once every weekend.

The first was the worst. I have relatives who stay on the outskirts of Pune and I had to take a rickshaw to cover the distance. My observation of the fellow rickshawalas: A) They are real good liars B) They are rude! I paid almost double the amount for distance I covered and they treat you as if they did a favour to you. The places I visited still has those 6 seater rickshaws which should ideally fit 6 people but surprise surprise you can fit 12! I so love the bombay rickshwalas now... even thought they are north indians... they atleast dont cheat you! I even tried the dialogue --- "Marathi manusach marathi mansala madat nahi karat" ( a maharashtrian never helps a fellow maharashtrian) but it fell on deaf ears.
The weather ( I might (?) sound as if I am complaining but I just want to!) was real harsh too. The sun slaps you across your face and gets you all parched. You dont even get to sweat it out.
Then the journey back to aamchi mumbai, the bus stand was a big confusion mela. The bus which I finally got was a 6.30 one (in d eve) and after it showed me the rest of the Pune , it dropped me near my humble abode around midnight. The drive is actually just two and half hours away by the way.
So all in all, even though the city has a lot of good places to eat, nice weather (in winters only) and lot of youngsters, it still is blahhhhh in terms of transport and traffic sense.

So if you want to have a nice one day outing and you have your own vehicle (with lots of safeguards) and places to go all chalked out, then only, pune is safe to be.